During a chat this morning someone told me: "when i see you in person i get a sense of loneliness (or maybe aloneness?) and a wanting/hunger from you"

I've been thinking about that statement most of the day.

While I am somewhat of a social butterfly that butterfly costume hides my 'wanting'. Or perhaps it signifies my 'wanting'. I am slave to ( Read more... )

Master often jests that he needed to be more specific when he wished for a second to join the family...because the universe heard him and sent a lesbian boi. ( 
( Read more... )

Lately I have been feeling extremely blue. I don't mean a bit down-and-out but a deep azure-cerulean-cobalt-indigo-navy-ultramarine feeling.

Service of habit has kicked in. I still wake him with a cold drink and a morning kiss. His boots are removed as needed. The kitchen is cleaned and ashtrays emptied. Nikkipup and Agnuskitty get fed. Emails are ( Read more... )

New relationship opportunities for me and new explorations for Master Archer! We're both expanding our horizions to make our individual lives more open and our relationship brighter. A newfound lightness is settling in us.

Master's exploration started with a friendship I have been developing with someone in the area. She is bright and funny and very ( Read more... )

I had a planned chat date with Hot Dateman last night. (yes, Hot Dateman does not live near). It was a bit odd as I have not chatted with someone of that type of interest in year and years. Minds out of the gutter..this is not cyber sex chat...we're getting to know each other a bit better  (with permission from our respective owners ( Read more... )

This past weekend Master Archer and I presented a workshop entitled Fighting For Your Mind - Primal Purge Ritual. We did this for CAPEX (Charlotte Area Power Exchange) and this was the first time we had presented this in front of a large group.

Primal rage as a survival instinct is a basic evolutionary reactions that we share with all ( Read more... )

I have had odd thoughts and feelings invading my mind and soul lately...feelings of abandonment and isolation, insignificant and expended ( Read more... )

Tonight I had a disturbing thought:

I wonder if I am a project that has been started...and then put off, unfinished.

A very wise man once told me, "You'd do much better in life if you would put as much energy into doing the right thing as you expend in trying to avoid doing the wrong thing". It has taken me years to fully understand why this is right.

The main component of this philosophy is to target where we focus our energy. Focus on the positive! If I were ( Read more... )

In the course of a conversation last evening we discussed Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Of course, the main question was 'What is BPD'?

That question is not easy to answer in a non-clinical way.

In I Hate You -- Don't Leave Me! Jerold Kriesman and Hal Straus refer to BPD as "emotional hemophilia; [a borderline] lacks the clotting mechanism ( Read more... )